Keep yr stationary close by

Like a pair of dinosaur shaped 3D glasses struggling to climb over a grey cardboard tree I guess I will always struggle to understand exactly how people manage to listen to the band 'N-Dubz' with a smile on their face.

Like a collection of small semi-not-really-precious stones trapped beneath plastic shells I guess I will never be able to get out of this polystyrene bubble we call 'failure'.

Like a miniature version of Macho Man Randy Savage fashioned into a day-glo pink ink stamp. Just exactly the same.

2011 digest

The boss who likes Green Day

A guy who I used to work for liked Green Day and one day, 'dress down day', he showed up in a denim jacket with a large Rancid patch on the back of it and he was in his 40s and this made me feel v uncomfortable but I couldn't tell him that because he was my bosses boss and not just my boss.

Times

Pretty exciting living life in general maybe.

Miss blogging a bit, just don't always have a lot of stuff to say that would be appropriate for the blog 'Late Night Taxi Driver Badminton'. I miss the people I used to be in touch with through this stuff. Hi guys.

My band ANGUISH SANDWICH is playing Reading + Leeds festival this weekend. That's a pretty big deal. Muse, My Chemical Romance, The Strokes. Pretty wild. I wrote a letter to 'The Strokes', you can read it ove at http://anguishsandwich.blogspot.com

I love you
You are the best

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Happy hardcore isn't quite as happy as you think

Lying in bed with wet hair listening to The Rebel and keeping a firm ear ready for insight that might help or just a vaguely racist reference or something else.

Sometimes I think that I would think the phrase 'I wish I was dead' more often if I was less self-conscious and more 'emo'.

People don't like it when you are emotional.

People don't like it when you are emotional, they find it difficult to empathise. I find it difficult not to be emotional.

Got legitimately kicked in the head a couple of weeks ago and now I feel a bit weird about walking down the street but also feel like a piece of shit for feeling that way. Don't want to feel like a piece of shit anymore.

I like to use the phrases 'I would rather puke into my own hands' and 'I would rather stab myself in the dick', but of the two I think I would rather do the puking one.

Thing about feeling really happy is that when you feel unhappy it just sucks that much more.

My desktop wallpaper for some reason is a field of cauliflowers. It looks a little bit like this but not really.

Stomach spins like a machine drum. Stretched beyond belief, beyond something else. Cowboy says 'I don't know where we've been', I say 'if you don't know no one else will'. Cowboy looks me in the eye and I start to think about the nightly noises from next door bringing feeling to my gut and my brain spins like a machine drum.
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Tattoo

Thinking I should probably get a tattoo of an anchor on my forearm or maybe something else. Maybe a heavy-breasted mermaid on my chest.

Other possible tattoos:
- something tribal to help pass myself off as a professional rugby player.
- generic east asian characters with uncertain translation.
- lyric from a song with vague emotional content.
- name of someone else.
- ironic logo/reference from an 80s children's television show.
- Nike 'swoosh'.
- 'love' and 'hate'
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