Hoarse

Had not much sleep and made some bad bread today.  Something is making my throat close up tight like the hand of a shitty child around a dumb dog's tail.

Random-article-at-Wikipedia event (return)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meda_of_Odessos
I'm totally terrified of responsibility and I think that being responsible for killing myself would probably suck the most out of anything and that I would just be thinking "gah, this is lame and I am almost definitely going to screw this up and make a mess and people will not feel sorry for me, they will just think I suck." Maybe if the person I was into died of natural causes I would be sad forever but I think I would really struggle with the other thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durban_North_College
Afrikaans is cool.  It's like you don't even need to know how to spell things, you can just make a rough guess and it'll probs work out fine.  Why go to school anyway?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ampelophaga_nikolae
I was in bed and there was a moth and it was bugging me and bothering my bedside lamp and I swung my arms about and eventually it stopped or disappeared into thin air or something and then I felt something in my mouth and the mouth had got inside my mouth and I didn't realise straight away because I thought it might have been something else and I poked at it with my tongue and wondered and then put my finger in between my teeth and cheek meat and scooped it out and yes it was a wet dead mouth and I felt sick and coughed up and drank just water for 24 hours.  Also, do moths live in cereal boxes if they want to?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedro_Delgado_(athlete)
The paramilitary is to the military as the Paralympics is to the Olympics?   Is that right?  Hey wikipedia, seems like if someone qualifies as a paralympian that maybe you would explain what his deal is?  You got a stub on your hands.  STUB.  This guy is a runner?  Is it a deal like the guy who shot that lady?  With the big metal springs for running on?

Keep yr stationary close by

Like a pair of dinosaur shaped 3D glasses struggling to climb over a grey cardboard tree I guess I will always struggle to understand exactly how people manage to listen to the band 'N-Dubz' with a smile on their face.

Like a collection of small semi-not-really-precious stones trapped beneath plastic shells I guess I will never be able to get out of this polystyrene bubble we call 'failure'.

Like a miniature version of Macho Man Randy Savage fashioned into a day-glo pink ink stamp. Just exactly the same.

2011 digest

The boss who likes Green Day

A guy who I used to work for liked Green Day and one day, 'dress down day', he showed up in a denim jacket with a large Rancid patch on the back of it and he was in his 40s and this made me feel v uncomfortable but I couldn't tell him that because he was my bosses boss and not just my boss.

Times

Pretty exciting living life in general maybe.

Miss blogging a bit, just don't always have a lot of stuff to say that would be appropriate for the blog 'Late Night Taxi Driver Badminton'. I miss the people I used to be in touch with through this stuff. Hi guys.

My band ANGUISH SANDWICH is playing Reading + Leeds festival this weekend. That's a pretty big deal. Muse, My Chemical Romance, The Strokes. Pretty wild. I wrote a letter to 'The Strokes', you can read it ove at http://anguishsandwich.blogspot.com

I love you
You are the best

------------------

Happy hardcore isn't quite as happy as you think

Lying in bed with wet hair listening to The Rebel and keeping a firm ear ready for insight that might help or just a vaguely racist reference or something else.

Sometimes I think that I would think the phrase 'I wish I was dead' more often if I was less self-conscious and more 'emo'.

People don't like it when you are emotional.

People don't like it when you are emotional, they find it difficult to empathise. I find it difficult not to be emotional.

Got legitimately kicked in the head a couple of weeks ago and now I feel a bit weird about walking down the street but also feel like a piece of shit for feeling that way. Don't want to feel like a piece of shit anymore.

I like to use the phrases 'I would rather puke into my own hands' and 'I would rather stab myself in the dick', but of the two I think I would rather do the puking one.

Thing about feeling really happy is that when you feel unhappy it just sucks that much more.

My desktop wallpaper for some reason is a field of cauliflowers. It looks a little bit like this but not really.