I'm sorry I haven't I'm sorry I haven't a clue

I have a thing in the Panger Banger Print Party which DJ Berndt has put together. He is willing to send it out for free to people who want it. It is very limited. You should ask him nicely for a copy. Also give him a little kiss. The collection is called 'Doubts I Love'. The thing I have written is called 'People went to the hills but I stayed at home'.

Contributors to the "Doubts I Love":

Jillian Clark

Crispin Best

Chris East

Ryan Manning

David Fishkind

Kristen Shaw

Adam Showalter

Glen Binger

Adam Coates

DJ Berndt

Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown.
Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown.
Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown.
Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown.
Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown.
Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown.
Reading Charlie Brown. Reading Charlie Brown.

Just preordered Ben Brooks' book.
I feel a bit weird about it.
Like I might have to take the money back off him physically one day.
I mean.
I am sure it will be worth reading.
Maybe even great.
But maybe I will have to take action against him.
I don't want to.
But I will.

Maybe you should go and preorder it also and have a crisis similar to the one I am going through.

An open letter (no links)

Where do we go from here?

I feel like building a ladder so high that when it falls over and you are at the top you will crash into the earth at such a speed that you leave a crater the size of a supermarket carpark.

The question should not be "Where do we go from here?" but rather "Why the fuck should we bother?" and when you ask me that question I will give a small laugh then nudge you in the ribs with my elbow and say "You want we should take our shirts off and hug?"

Listening to mid-90s independant punk.

Planning a trip to Dublin and thinking "I hate it when people say things about how drinking Guiness in Dublin is awesome, as if I give a shit" but I will probably drink Guiness when I am in Dublin and I don't know how I will react. I think that if it as good as the hype then I will probably tear the skin off my forearm to find out once and for all if I am human or a Terminator. Seems like the only logical thing to do.

Do ghosts have sex? Do people have sex in heaven? Do people get to have sex with angels? Do angels have sex with eachother whilst dead people watch and nod their heads? If there is a really hot ghost in your room and you know it is a ghost but it looks really hot, would you have sex with it even though it is a ghost?

On the side of a new office building I want to paint the words 'you blew it' in 20foot high red letters. And dot the 'i' with a love heart.

How do I improve my signature? When a postman asks me to sign for a package I get really fucking embrassed by the scratchy mark I leave behind. Is it weird for me to think about girls and then spend an afternoon signing my first name followed by their surname?

We are all being strangled. 'Swine flu' was fucked up by 'MPs expenses' and 'the BNP'. Now, they in turn are being gang raped by 'the weather', 'Michael Jackson' and 'tennis'. I have stopped caring.

The first Bureau De Books book has been posted as a PDF on that blog so you can download it and read it if you like. I wrote one and a half things in it. There is also a picture of me drinking tea.

I wrote this poem for you, I hope you like it

CLOVER
Up above the world so high
I can see two clouds fucking
One cloud ejaculates into the other cloud
And we all run for cover

they've been putting the holes in

You should preorder the new issue of The Lifted Brow
It is a pretty great thing
I have an illustration in it

My Google Reader is out of control
I have too many subscripitions and I cannot possibly catch up
This morning there were more than 200 unread items
I clicked 'mark as read' on a bunch so now I am down 162
But it is still totally daunting
It will take an effort of super human proportions to bring this back
I don't think I have what it takes
I know I don't

Last night I went to see Blur
It was really pretty great
Nostalgia
It's a trip yo

Here's a good video for a song they did not play


I don't know what else I have to add
I have ceased being a productive member of society
I feed the pigeons
I sometimes feed the sparrows too

The weekend

A new story up at Dogzplot called 'That Roy Orbison song'

Crispin Best said that lately my writing seems 'more angry'

He could be right

Drama is what it is yeah?

I will live

great opportunities for aspiring writers!!!

Following my previous post, Ben Brooks and myself had a brief conversation via the medium of 'email'

I am proposing an ebook

submissions open now

chriseast83@gmail.com

The ebook will be called 'STORYS OF PEOPLE SHAGGING SPIDERS'

It will be a collection of flash fiction erotica featuring spiders and people

It is important to stress 'erotica' and 'spiders'

I want people to start writing this now

Also, tell other people about it