Thursday, 30 April 2009

The Revolution - FAQ

What is 'The Revolution'?
The Revolution is what will happen when we all decide we have had enough. It is still not completely clear what it is that we will have had enough of, but when it happens we will know. It will be obvious.

What happens when 'The Revolution' comes?
We will all hold up our swords and shields to the glowing golden orb in the sky and call for justice. There, before the pounding sun we will join together in one throbbing mass and destroy every semblence of evil put before us. As suggested previously, we will not know what form this evil will take until it manifests itself. It would be best if you prepared yourself for having to fight against everything from 20ft tall bankers and hoards of rabid babies through to microbacteria and abstract notions such as time and love.

How do I sign up for 'The Revolution'?
At the Tower Of London you will find a small leather bound book hidden behind a loose block in the east wall. There you must sign your name in the blood of a freshly slaughtered lamb (sorry, but there will be no use for squeamish vegetariansin The Revolution) after which you will be issued with your sword and armour. For further directions please email

What is the likely outcome of 'The Revolution'?
You will probably die. The fact you felt the need to consult this FAQ shows that you lack the true spirit required to successfully survive The Revolution. The rest of us will drink to your memory.


ryan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Catherine said...

count me in!

Unknown said...

i can only hope this is like the revolution that all those nu-metal bands promised me in 7th and 8th grade. this is not degrading to you but only to me for recognizing any connection. i am going to stuff a dog's tennis ball in my mouth until i am 26.

Ben Brooks said...

I am glad we organised this. There is no way we could sit back with no revolution, doing nothing.
This will bolster numbers.
Please order more lambs.

Ben Brooks said...

Ben Brooks said...

I felt I should respond or something.

Chris East said...

What music will soundtrack 'The Revolution'?
iPods will be set to shuffle. They will be preloaded with only 3 songs, Last Resort by Papa Roach, Shove It by Deftones, and Love is All Around by Wet Wet Wet.

Chris East said...

Ben Brooks said...

This is good, details are being detailed.

What will revolutionaries wear?

Armour will be worn during formal occasions and "revolutionising" ones. The casual dress can be worn at other times and is available to purchase here:;image_id=4201

The chosen garment is comfortable yet still "revolutiony".

Viva La Revolucion.

I want something to call other revolutionaries, but not Kamerad because I think that has a lot of negative connotations.

Ben Brooks said...

I found a picture of our last rebellion.

We should increase numbers