Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Stomach spins like a machine drum. Stretched beyond belief, beyond something else. Cowboy says 'I don't know where we've been', I say 'if you don't know no one else will'. Cowboy looks me in the eye and I start to think about the nightly noises from next door bringing feeling to my gut and my brain spins like a machine drum.

Monday, 8 November 2010


Thinking I should probably get a tattoo of an anchor on my forearm or maybe something else. Maybe a heavy-breasted mermaid on my chest.

Other possible tattoos:
- something tribal to help pass myself off as a professional rugby player.
- generic east asian characters with uncertain translation.
- lyric from a song with vague emotional content.
- name of someone else.
- ironic logo/reference from an 80s children's television show.
- Nike 'swoosh'.
- 'love' and 'hate'

Sunday, 7 November 2010


Last night I saw a fireworks display and bonfire. I was outdoors and it was hot and cold at the same time.

Wednesday, 27 October 2010


I have often fantasised about walking the streets and adding a letter 'I' to the many 'To Let' signs posted against the buildings. It is ok to ask a waiter "excuse me, where is the men's toilet", by which I mean, you need not substitute the word 'toilet' for 'bathroom' or something similar, there should be no shame there. Every home should have at least one toilet. Once a house more than two toilets you can begin to assess the wealth of the owner of the house. One or two toilets is seen as a necessity today, whilst the higher the number of toilets the higher your economic value. It would probably be unnecessary to have more toilets than you have bedrooms, unless you are an office.

Tuesday, 26 October 2010


It is currently still officially British Summer Time (BST). As of this weekend it will cease to be British Summer Time (BST) and will become Daylight Savings Time (DST), an hour difference. British Summer Time is different to British Summertime. British Summer Time is the way we use our clocks for a period of many months, whislt British Summertime is much more laid back.

Saturday, 23 October 2010


I have never eaten pumpking in a form which could be recognisible as pumpkin, by which I mean I have never eaten 'pieces' or 'chunks' of pumpkin, only ever eating pumpkin in the liquid or pulped form of pumpkin soup. I think it is fair to say that pumpkin is a seasonal vegetable, perhaps the most seasonal of all vegetables if you can say one vegetable is more seasonal than any other, as to my mind there are no other vegetables with a comparable seasonal connection. Often at this time of year I see unusually large or overgrown pumpkins, grown to a size that no other vegetable is allowed. Occaisionally you may see a large marrow or root vegetable but really only in competitive marrow or root vegetable growing circles. Pumpkins seem to be quite affordable for the volume of fruit you receive.

Monday, 18 October 2010


A lady tells me about how she likes 'backpacking' and I realise I don't really know what 'backpacking' is. I know what a backpack is, or a rucksack, I like the word rucksack a lot. 'Backpacking' is a verb. I would think it would mean building a backpack or preparing a backpack for use in an activity. Perhaps it is a euphemism and perhaps it doesn't actually involve an actual backpack as an object, more what a backpack represents. Backpacks a lightweight and portable and are used to carry things inside, 'backpacking' could then mean the moving of small things in a secretive fashion. Maybe it can be substituted for the word 'piggybacking' which is ugly but has some use to it. The word 'backpacking' could also be split into it's two parts, 'back' could then be interpreted to mean 'in the past' or similar, the word then being used to mean storing away things, objects or thoughts or memories, from the past, not letting them interfere or interact with the present.


Tuesday, 5 October 2010


Post-vacation and still jetlagged(?)

Probs not still actually jetlagged but could probs use 'a good night of sleep'

Things that I bought home with me from NYC:
- A gold 'lucha-style' wrestling mask
- 39 x records/tapes/cds
- 2 x 'I <3 NY' tees
- 'candy'
- 4 x books by/about Kurt Vonnegut
- No money
- Zines and magazines (an unknown quantity)
- 2 x books of stencils (egyptian and south american)
- much much more

Feeling pretty bummed about my lot in life right now. Started a new role at work yesterday and it consists of printing and filing the stuff I print. Feel like my brain doesn't even need to function at full capacity. Also in real life, definitely not productive enough, need to sort that out. Start making more things. Start drawing again. Gonna start a TAPE LABEL soon(ish). Wanna learn new things and read more things. Just make my brain work again yeah?

(I hate this blog post)

Thursday, 16 September 2010

The internet is dead

I killed the internet.

Stoked for NYC trip. We call it 'a holiday' but I am worried that saying that in New York will shock some people to the soles of their feet. It is for this reason that I am going to start saying 'a vacation' instead.

Things I want to eat in New York:
-chilli dawg
-beef jerky
-brisket (is that a thing?)
-freedom fries

Things I want to see in New York:
-a bumper sticker with a pro-jesus slogan.
-a mugging
-someone selling watches/jewellery out of a suitcase
-the statue of liberty out of the film Ghostbusters 2
-steam coming out of the ground

Money I want to use in New York:
-a quarter
-a dime
-a nickel
-many 'benjamins'

Sports I am not interested in experiencing in New York:
-ice hockey
-football (american style)
-football (soccer style)

People I would like to meet in New York:
-Johnny 5 from Short Circuit 1 and 2
-Woody Allen
-Rudi Giulliani
-Gunther from Friends
-Tao Lin

Miscellaneous New York experiences I hope to have:
-sell crack
-drink free wine at an 'art space'
-look down on many other buildings from the top of a taller building
-click my heels on broadway

That was a series of lists

Wednesday, 25 August 2010


Got a job interview tomorrow
wish me luck

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

RadioTimes @ xmas

In preparation for a trip to New York I will be doing next month (staying in Brooklyn for 10 days, hit me back if you wanna hook up) have been watching some of the finest US reality TV available. The two shows really, I think from my very ltd experience or knowledge, really do cover the true range of Western experience. Worry and happiness and greed and failure and envy and joy and excitement and imagination, taking pleasure in the simplest of things but also being an empty egg with a glowing shell.

The name of one of these shows is 'Work of Art'. The other is called 'Man v Food'.

I get excited when I watch these two shows. One is about creating and the other is about consuming, how perfect is that? But, y'know, they are really both about creating and both about consuming. How perfect perfect I'd that?

Sure the one guy is eating a bunch of food that is really a big fuck you to poor people, but it took someone else's brains and hands to make that meal happen. A tattooed and moustachioed man, or a big fat black woman, or an immigrant or something, standing in a restaurant kitchen looks at a plate and says "we can fit more on that plate, we can build upwards." Seems 'urban America', the vertical thrust of skyscrapers meaning a more-than-efficient use of space, both aggressive and excessive. And of course try and chilli pepper yourself to death.

'Work of Art' is maybe the most apt of titles. Premise is: 10 or 12 artists, working in various styles and media, with varying degrees of success, eliminate them one by one following a series of awkward tasks, make them bitch about each other. Artists are silly and jealous and competitive and always angry. If they fail to show any one of these things then they aren't really an artist at all, not really. All of the characters are loveable and laughable at the same time, OCD+ADHD brush up against arrogance and naivety and vanity. And there are prizes! A high profile solo exhibition as well as money. And on one episode a guy won the chance to have his work on the front cover of a Penguin book, and that excited me a lot. A LOT.

One woman got all pissy about how one of the challenges was too commericial or something. I'm pretty sure there was excitement on her face when Sarah Jessica Parker made an appearance.

I don't know. I like it.


Friday, 20 August 2010

Fwd: @chreast on the twitter

Been stunned into silence by 'work' and a general lack of energy and creativity.  Thinking of projects to work on and then never doing anything about it.

Thinking. Ben Brooks looks hot in that one magazine.

Thinking. I miss gmail chats with internet people. Are people still doing that?

A couple of months ago I did a night and showed some films by Socrates A-F and Killen and also CBest and I did a reading of a play which was actually just a transcription of a private/recorded conversation between Gordon Brown and other people.

Thinking. What happened to GoogleWave? It is sad. I like productivity tools.

Going to New York City (NYC) next month. Looking for suggestions of things to do and places to go in NYC. Staying in William Sburg, is that right?

Thinking. Want to be a twitter trend. #chriseastissomewhereoutthere or #thechriseastbrand. Can you help me?

Send me an email.

Got me so down I got me a headache. My heart's crushed in my cranium. Today I found myself in the men's bathroom at work. They are clean and functional and I have no complaints, they make me feel the same way about them every single day, no surprises, and that is good.  Today I found myself waiting to use a hand-drier, stood patiently behind a young man with the drier fan nozzle angled up underneath his striped blue/white collared shirt, one arm on the machine, the other in the air.  The young man looked back at me with a blank face and shrugged, not aggressively, maybe like I was a co-conspirator in something bigger than this. Fuck you, I thought but did not say.

Img dump

Many images

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

no time long see

made this new website with my main girl Aimee Holmes. it is called TELL ME SOMETHING SEXY and features our collaborative artwork and I think it's pretty rad. maybe you want to have a look and say otherwise.

been absent yeah that's true. been busy though.

listening to metal right now and trying to work out using only my ears if it is raining right now. might walk to my window and put a hand out but the window is too high up really or at least the opening up part is too high up.

i miss you guys, let's hang out more.

i'm going to write a poem right now

Untitled poem about what happens after you die if you die whilst in the audience of a live sporting event and no one notices until after the event has finished
Tie dye your clothes
And find somewhere you can hide
Then live there
And I promise it will be the best
You will never sleep though
And the only food will be poisonous
So probs stay in instead

that was fun
need to go to sleep now
hope to hear from you soon


Monday, 8 March 2010


i made a tumblr
not too sure why
but you can see it if you want to

Friday, 5 March 2010

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Bands I have seen

Once saw a band who played a song and it went 'falling, falling, down, down' and it was the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Once saw a band who played a song about killing babies whilst throwing dolls around the stage.

Once saw a band with two girls in sports wear singing and playing guitar to a walkman backing track and it was fun.

Once saw a band called 'Rod Stewart'.

Once saw a band where the guy did not have a good voice and sang about an old man collecting wood for the winter and it was dull.

Once saw a band with a shadow puppet show and another band play fifteen second songs for more than an hour.

Once saw a band made of office equipment.

Once saw a band fail.

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Valentines pancake

Been quiet for a while, haven't had much to say.

Been unemployed for a while now. Feel like I'm stuck in a queue behind a man who smells of shit and is wearing adidas jogging bottoms and is muttering to himself 'fucking hell'. The man is still ahead of me in the queue and until he is done doing what he needs to do there is really no way to get past, no matter how loud I scream or shout. Heard a story about a man being late for an appointment because he fell in a hole. Poor man.

Want to write something funny here.
It snowed again and I looked out the window and said to the snowflakes 'you don't know what you're doing, why don't you just fuck off, nobody likes you' and the snowflakes looked back and said 'no sir, you are wrong, nobody likes you, people welcome us, people enjoy our company' and I said 'fuck you snowflakes, you do nothing but bad things, sure, aesthetically you are pleasant for a short period of time, romantic almost, but really, what are you for? what purpose do you serve?' I didn't hear back from the snowflakes after that and it turns out that there was very little chance of my words making much difference anyhow. I still think some people like me.

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Pythagoras switch

I legit just watched 13 minutes of marbles

Monday, 1 February 2010

Rainbow squares / Finale

Have I acheived anything here?
Have I lost everything?
I miss you.

Meditation board

Walked around for two hours chasing locks and keys; nothing good ever happens. This guy told me that I would need the lock if I wanted the key and that didn't seem quite right, and some other guy said the word 'blanks' and I wasn't sure what he meant. The third guy was cool and did what I told him to do and gave me no sass in return. Boy, do I hate sass.