Sunday, 5 April 2009

Stupid ideas I have been having

On wedding invitations put "free cake and disco" to boost attendance

Name and slogan for strip club: S. Sex Girls (the 'S' stands for SEX!)

I was going to write a story or poem and the first line was going to be "If you read this to the end you will go blind" but then I decided not to because the only things I could write after that were really dumb. If someone wants to use that line as the first line of a poem or story then that would make me feel good about myself and I would be happy to read it. (An example of other lines "I love you, I think you are fucking stupid." See what I mean?)

I want to do a set of Daniel Johnston songs at my next show and maybe I will just not mention that they are Daniel Johnston songs and when people come up after the show and say "Chris your new songs are really nice and sad, thank you for writing them with your brain" I will just respond politely and fail to point out the truth.

I want to go on holiday or something. Everyone I know is preparing to go away somewhere or has just gone away or is doing something special and I feel like I am not clever enough or urgent enough to get these things done and come up with plans of my own. I am happy that everyone else is good at these things and that they are Living Their Fucking Lives To The Max but it also makes me sad that I am not. My brother's band is on tour. Whatever. No, not whatever. I could maybe do a tour of my own if I was willing to put the effort in. People are going on holiday and I could easily do that, really easily. Last time I went away, which was not too long ago, I had to be prompted to do it and my friend found the hotel for me and also told me when to go. I will go away somewhere in the summer, but someone else will organise everything for me.

It is my birthday 1 month from today. Please ask for an address to send cards and gifts to.


alle santiago said...

"if you read this to the end you will go blind,"
said the old woman as she handed me a pamphlet
on god and pornography
she was wearing felt xbox pajama pants
and an adhesive name-tag from a neighborhood open house
her warning was counterintuitive
but maybe she meant blind in a good way

i used the pamphlet to mark my place in books
for three weeks but never read it until this morning
the main point was that copulation only exists to
make more of a certain species and pornography is a joke
a man sat down next to me five minutes ago
and he has a yellow tool box and two stuffed animal badgers
and he is playing with wind up toys on the table
and i am thinking that
human beings are fucking pathetic

Crispin Best said...

i genuinely just rsvp'd 'can't make it'
to a wedding
'free cake and disco'
would 100% have swayed things

Mariana Soffer said...

I do not know what to say to you either, everything seems stupid. Just that. By the way I am too far, but I would love to go to the party, and I am a fantastic dancer.