Q
What do you even do with your days? You are so lazy.
A
I sit and listen to dogs barking. I chew pieces of boot leather. I turn over and over and over until I am sore. I look at magic eye pictures and try to imagine them busting into flame. I make music using only the bones of dead deer. Sometimes I eat. I wrap presents for orphans and then never deliver them because I hate orphans. I type up nuisance letters to dead celebrities.
Q
Do you recycle?
A
Yes. I recycle other people's ideas and make them into something better.
Q
Who washes the prostitute's clothes?
A
The pimp would be responsible for all laundry. The prostitute visits the pimp each morning with a pillowcase filled with soiled underwear and blouses and hotpants from the night before and the prostitute takes them to his mother's house and shouts at her until she puts them in the machine. The pimp's mother takes care to use fabric softener on all the clothes. It is better that way.
(please make sure you visit Bureau De Books and buy a copy, or two, of the new book named QUESTIONS ABOUT LIFE AND SHIT because it is the bomb)
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