Sunday, 29 March 2009

I am an ego. I am an eagle. I am so fucking cool it is unbelievable. I am the only person in the room. I am the only person in the room worth talking to or about. I am an ego. I could fight anyone here and win. I can see through your clothes and imagine you naked and that is fucking cool. I am just the right amount of hot. I have ideas and they are awesome. I should be prime minister. I should be president. I should be the first black president. I am a fucking genius. I have an IQ. I am a walking IQ machine. I am an IQ which is twice whatever IQ you have is. I rule. I could live underwater if I wanted and if I did all the sharks and killer whales and shit would be scared because I could fuck them up. I own loads of records and any one of my records could fuck up all of your records. I have impeccable taste. I am impeccable. I am not God because God does not exist, yeah, sorry to tell you. I know the truth about everything. I knew the thing about Santa Claus before anyone else did. I am going to move to Hollywood and make a film about myself. I am going to make this film and star in it and everyone will say "Wow." It will be the biggest and most successful film. I will make a book of the film and it will win all the awards and be a best seller and everyone will say "Wow." I will be a rapper. I will have a big house but I will make the house myself on the weekends but not because I need to but because I can.


DJ Berndt said...

You are a chick magnet.

Chris East said...

i would like to be a magnet

Ani Smith said...

Hello, I am a chick.

Are there any magnets around here? I am looking for a good magnet.

An Unreliable Witness said...

I am a chicken magnet.
I had a frozen one stuck on my left foot earlier.
It was most inconvenient.