Wednesday, 22 April 2009

10,000 words on the effects of the economic crisis and the post modern condition on the developing minds of young people in middle america

1. The things we choose to do are often the easiest and dumbest.

2. I saw a lady run down a flight of stairs so fast her feet could not keep up with the top half of her body. She was heavy and she fell and her face was soft enough to break her fall. She probably did not die. People do not die of things like that. They die of cancer and stabbings.

3. 200 years from now medicine will be so advanced that people will be living until the age of 150 quite easily, yet people will struggle to find work over the age of 50 and suicide rates will soar. Suicide cults will prosper and seem attractive to young and old alike.

4. Scientology is cool. It does not upset me. I think perhaps it is a joke which the rich and famous are playing on the rest of us and one day John Travolta will come out and say "You didn't really think we all belived that shit did you?" How awesome would that be?

5. I feel like if I was the prime minister I would be a pretty good prime minister. I would introduce a new national holiday where, for one day out of the year, all the motorways are fitted with stunt ramps.

Please add your own...


Catherine said...

I've been saying number 4 for years!!! Can this be one thing you stole from me?

Chris East said...


Matt DeBenedictis said...

2. The lady could not die because she probably thought to herself, "I'm running fast. I could fall." No one ever dies saying they knew it was going to happen.

DJ Berndt said...

that drawing is awesome.

haha, nice title.

Ani Smith said...

Wait. Middle America? You mean like Nicaragua?

Bored kids in Nicaragua write novels about the evils of communist dictatorships and pineapple lip puckers.

I still want some of that mango stuff.

An Unreliable Witness said...

Number 3 depressed me so much that I precariously balanced a rifle upwards from the floor and shout myself in the face.

(though I don't say that to make you feel guilty)

(I didn't really shoot myself)
(It was a pointlessly dramatic gesture)
(Don't have nightmares, do sleep well)
(Like Jill Dando; though she's dead)

alle santiago said...

number one, yes, ugh, tomorrow i am going to do a difficult and smart thing.

Mariana Soffer said...

1.5 The need to speak, even if one has nothing to say, becomes more pressing when one has nothing to say, just as the will to live becomes more urgent when life has lost its meaning.

ryan said...

money is not real

Chris East said...

i stole the title and number 4 from other people.

Matt, perhaps this was an attempted suicide. In which case it would lead into number 3.

Ani, this title was stolen. I don't even understand what it means. Send me yr address and i will try and post some mango pudding to you. I'm not sure how i can do this though.

Witness, I am glad that you didn't shoot yourself. Perhaps you could design a rifle you could fire with yr toes and market it to the suicidal elderly.

Something, good luck.

Mariana, you have cut straight to the core of these post, and indeed the nature of this entire blog.

Ryan, money is real. Just look at it. It's real, i swear.